brandnewswastikas:

I guess my ideal woman is the newly married, kind of ugly girl who is in every class at every community college who always tries to talk about how her husband is in Iraq. After mentioning him twice to the class within the first day, she feels comfortable enough to refer to him by first his name. If the teacher is talking about economics, she will interrupt to say something like, “Travis had a really good book about economics. I think he took it with him to Iraq. I’ll call him over Skype tonight and ask.” The teacher will continue the lecture without comment and the married girl will wait like a rat trap in extreme anticipation for the next time she will be able to talk about her husband who is in Iraq.

She is my ideal woman because I want to be her husband so I can die in Iraq and never have to see her again.